the healing power of burgers and prayer

here's the thing,

i don't love to complain, and i don't like feeling super depressed,
and i will tell you that i have little reason to...

i live in paradise, with a nearly perfect child and a nearly perfect husband.

the weather is 98% perfect all the time,
{currently raining, and i still consider that perfect. who doesn't love rain??}

i have family close.
and lots of really great friends.
i'm 5 hours away from both sets of parents and lots of boss's aunts and an uncle.
i am 3 miles from the beach,
20 minutes from the best zoo in the country,
and i generally have my needs met.

{i could use a sonic, but i digress...}

the cost to live here, in this 2-bedroom, soon to be even smaller than small condo,
is huge.  

to pay what we pay now, we could be in a home, a very large home,
with a 2-car garage, and a backyard...
even just 20 minutes from here.

but we love it here.

we love our friends,
the quick drive to work,
our ward.

it's felt the most like home since we've been married,
and i don't know that i could give it up.

the last 2 years, being californians has taught us to live within our means,
eat cheap, and not buy ourselves what we wish we could...

last year january, we arrived here just in time,
when the winds changed, and we were sent here for work,
we packed up and left right in the very moment that we were scraping for air.
one more month there, and we couldn't pay rent.

our large down payment we had saved for a home in arizona,
we had spent to live, in california on one salary...

this week, i left my first midwife appt in tears.
and without an appt.

i was frustrated at all of the long hours and extra time put in,
only to find out that we still can't afford to live here
{AND have a birth like i hope to}

i was devastated. embarrassed even.
i didn't know how it could possibly work.

on paper, {my mom reminded me},
it never does.

i walked out to my car,
and while begining to cry to cc on the phone,
noticed a ticket on my dash.
through my now ridiculous sobs,
he told me to stop by work.

we promptly went to red robin,
ate copious amounts of good burgers and endless fries.
they fed my soul, as did the really cute guy smiling back at me.

we prayed hard that night.

and just as arriving here was the perfectly timed blessing we needed,
so was seeing a W2 that very next day.

we filed immediately.
then we cried.
then we promptly thanked God for so obviously reminding us that He's always watching out for the little guys.

{guess there is ONE good thing about making no money, and having a kid...}

i was singing in my head what i often sing right before we pray together at night,
"we got to pray {pray} just to make it today!"

we're gonna make it ok.

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