big red clifford

foto friday: love

2012-02-10T09:11:00.000-08:00

this week, the theme is appropriately, love.

i could take a picture of many things that would fall under this umbrella. many.

i could snap another cute picture of my kid, but that's a given...
i could try to fenagle cc into some creative idea that captures all that i love about him,
but that wasn't going to happen...

so we thought of our new surroundings.

truth is, we are excited to be by the beach,
close to family,
closer to home,
and closer to this House.

the san diego temple has been a place we love,
and not living close to one for a few years reminds me how much i need it.

when we were first married,
we would drive over from arizona to play at the beach and come visit this place.
sometimes staying for hours.

and as we were strolling around, and B was making "oooh" noises,
i kept thinking of a scripture:

God so loved the world,
that He gave his only begotten son...

which is more and more difficult to fathom every day.

check out the other ladies

and see what they love

domesticatia unleashed

2012-02-09T08:32:00.000-08:00

cc and i were up to our elbows in paint
with a child wakening far too early from his afternoon nap,
when i realized something.

"is there anything...else...you wanted to do for your vacation?" i asked him.

"you mean, other than all these fun projects? i know, that's probably not normal..."

we have been so excited to get to a place that we could do something to that we have gone a little nutso.

we have too much stuff we don't need and lots we still do.
its all about priorities i guess.

after i painted the kitchen, we set out for other fun projects...

this one was first on my list. my metal mirror i have wanted to paint since i found it at a garage sale a few years ago...
{still yet to be hung...}

the nice thing about metal is it already has that steely vintagy look i wanted, so i just used the side of the brush to tap the edges and left the grooves the same. i even had my trusty martha stewart glaze handy {that helped me get my headboard all vintagy}, and didn't even need it!

then we had an issue to solve, and fast.
our cute entertainment unit that i love love, was too wide for our new little space.
so while it sits on craigslist waiting to find a new home,

we found a new little guy to fix up just right...

with my white/gray couch, and a few more pops of color....
{i need someone to come tell me to stop popping color by the way,
or this tiny place might explode...}

and this is just the beginning...

oh it feels good to be free!

ps, one of my fave food bloggers

chef-in-training is hosting a giveaway

for VintagePrintage!

go enter to win a free case!

boxed in

2012-02-04T23:16:00.000-08:00

we have arrived in san diego,
and may i say first and foremost, that i never ever plan to leave.
if i could pick a place to live out my life,
it would be lovely san diego.

big city with small town suburbia neighborhoods.
where people don't wear real clothes in the morning
because they all workout until 2. at which point they go shopping.
in workout clothes. mostly spandex.
lots of tight butts in spandex
is how i would describe san diego in 6 words.

our place is small, charming, and in a great location.
we have friendly neighbors, a rad pool,
and family close by to watch my baby while we get through day 1/100 of the unpacking voyage.

at the moment there is a small walkway leading from beds to doors.
the rest of the square footage is occupied with cardboard. and lots of it.

though we are renting this cute little condo, we feel like home owners,
and between the toolman and i,
our little honey do-this-fun-project-with-me list is growing ever larger by the minute.

"lets paint that night stand and put it here...
i want to paint that dresser and that mirror....and most likely the crib...red."
"i want to go get my tools and build you a bike rack..."
"can you make me a mantle? ooh, or build me benches to go out on my beachy deck??"
"i need to buy you a house, is what i need to do."

we might go broke designing someone else's house.
but we'll be happy doing it.

stay tuned for all the fun projects i will be able to show you soon.
its going to be intense at the BRC for a long while.
like rubber gloves, and ACE membership intense.

its not you, its me

2012-01-30T08:43:00.000-08:00

dear santa maria, we're leaving.
and we probably wont see you again.

at least for a long long time.
{when B is old enough to know/care to see
the beautiful corner of california in which his life commenced}

its not you, its me.

...it might be you.

saturday night, we had some friends throw a party to say goodbye.
this is one of my favorite groups of people to play with.

its fun to have girlfriends who have husbands just like mine. {i.e. work together}
because everyone has fun when we get together.
the men all gather and chat all night,
and the women just twiddle their thumbs with nothing to do. {caught ya.}

the big screen goes on to entertain the crazy children.
mine sleeps in a room somewhere.
its beautiful.

we never tire of talking with these friends,
we take way too long to leave,
and we are going to miss them all.
{until they all end up in san diego with us in a few months!}

we were a wee bit late, because after a day of packing and cc working,
we both sat down to prepare for sunday talks and lessons.

we arrived at the door
and i already knew it was going to be good times.

well said, guys.
don't get all stressful on us,
we know all about it.

these girls went all out.
we were featured on their delicious cupcakes,
they talked about us all night...

they even called our moms to get a bunch of stories about us
and played a game with questions about us,
many of which would have made cc blush were it any other group.

what a thoughtful, meaningful, well-planned party.
i wish i had taken more pictures of the humans.

its touching sometimes to be reminded how great your friends are.

thanks guys,
we'll see you in a few months.

ps. in a few minutes i will not have internet or cable,
which means all of my monday shows wont record and i won't blog again until safely in my new home in san diego!

i would be lying if i said i didn't feel a bit naked without the internet.

we'll be back soon...

a happy place

2012-01-28T11:59:00.000-08:00

knowing today would be a packing day and my machine would be in a box for a while,
i was sure to hurry and finish up some lingering projects i wanted to get to before we moved.

this one was a work in progress,
and i am happy to say the duvet cover is finally finished.
my new bright little happy place.

i have had a few ask for a tutorial, so i will try to get one up soon. ;)

i can't wait to get it all put up in the new place,
and to get different furniture and to paint stuff and rearrange.

in fact, the other night after i finished said project,
made my bed, and sat staring at it for long periods of time,
i starting dreaming up all the projects my new place will provide me with...

when cc came home,
the poor guy was just a tired guy in my daydream...

[i had been staring off into space for many minutes]
cc: what're you thinking about?
me: how i want you to make me a mantle to go over my [new] fireplace.
cc: oh, right, of course...

[after a few minutes, he catches me staring again...]
cc: what're you thinking about NOW?
me: oh what color i want to paint my kitchen table, and where i will put the hutch,
and what colors i want to go in the family room now that it will be so different and open...and how i'm going to fit everything into B's new room...

cc: what now?
me: i am thinking about that wall i'm going to paint,
maybe it wants to have a design in it?
cc: you're sick.

no, i'm just so freakin excited.

and it doesn't help temper the excitement to have boxes already piling high in my house.

{the company moves us, so they came today and packed 1/2 my house.
that's my favorite part. cuddling up with my kid to watch a movie while some else packs my house.}

foto friday: faceless

2012-01-27T09:48:00.000-08:00

i am almost ashamed to leave the title of this post with "foto friday" in it,

but alas, it is what it is this week.

yesterday some cute girls asked me to meet them at the beach,

and i was very happy to come.

especially knowing it would be my last time that north in california for a long time.

i will miss our beach,

and our quaint little area.

nice, open, clean beach.

with swings.

i love swings.

and babies with sand in ever nook and cranny.

i love that too.

go check out the other foto gals who probably diid something much cooler and who are probably able to post using 2 hands and without a screaming writhing child in hand.

finding home

2012-01-24T11:30:00.000-08:00

i feel high as a kite.

lets say that our little jaunt to san diego this weekend was very successful.

we celebrated cc's 31st birthday at a friends' place.
she made yummy dinner for us and let us laugh with them all night.
after a day of searching for homes, it was exactly what we needed.

{i was sad that it was a little anti-climatic of a birthday for him, but after he opened his remote control helicopter and 2 terabyte hard drive, he agreed this was a good year.}

we spent all sunday looking for our home.
we were sure we would end up in a place a little farther from the job site,
which meant farther from family.

my aunt {mindy} had been doing recon for us and lo and behold, a space became available near her just last week. she told us the price, and we were floored. no where can you find a place that far west for the price we needed.

we went to see it and decided that maybe the place wasn't as cute or new as we wanted or as other places we had seen that were further away with lots more space, but by the end of the night, we both felt the silence of peace that we needed to say yes to the offer.

the owner was going to list it on craigslist on sunday and waited.
had she listed it, at that price, it would have been gone in a day.

yesterday we signed a lease, and the place felt more like ours the minute we walked in.
my brain kept me up with the many project ideas to make our cute little place feel more like home.

we drove 5 minutes to cc's work from there, about 5 minutes to the beach,
and the best part? 5 minutes to family.

i can't think of anything more home than that.

foto friday: animation

2012-01-20T08:38:00.000-08:00

this week's theme is animation

we thought we had a big enough event to animate.

though i'm sad to see it go,
i sure love the big nerd underneath.

here's the first one i made just to learn how...

{and for some reason you have to click on this one to make it go}

go check out the other ladies and see what they got in their picture show!

TGIF!

{we are off to SD for the weekend,

hopefully to find us a house!

wish us luck!}

two things...

2012-01-19T13:30:00.000-08:00

knowing it would be a late one yesterday for cc, i headed to joann's,

which was way overdue anyway,

and bought me some dye.

then i came home and made some pillows

so that when my duvet cover is done {oh so soon}

i can show it all together.

{plus, i needed an excuse to start using my new sewing machine

i got for christmas. its been set up since i opened it, and needing a project...}

this pillow was made with the sheet that i ruined for the duvet cover,

{because i suck at math and cut it wrong...}

and the remnants of this project, {strips of muslin}

i was pouring over this gal's cutest ever shop and thought,

she dyes her own fabric?? i'm in.

and now i have gray fingernails.

but boy does it feel good to create again.

and now i can't wait to set up my new bedroom!

when cc came home my hands were gray and rough,

and elbow deep in mustard dye {for my next project...}

but they gratefully accepted the generous token he brought with him.

and now there are 2 things that are making me happy today!

maybe three....

that was a close one

2012-01-17T11:49:00.000-08:00

yesterday morning as the light was barely starting to peek through the blinds,
and i was struggling to make my eyes focus,
i realized my hand was gently wrapped in another one.

i couldn't find the owner of the hand and slowly started to look around.
there was cc, fully showered, dressed, and so weighed down
with his heavy heart near the bedside.

i assumed he was feeling as tired as i was
so it took me a while to ask what was on his mind.

the last few weeks have been challenging at the clifford house.
to know we are moving is great. to know little else about said move, isn't.
cc called me on "1/9" and told me he was going to be positive.

and he was. up until this moment when it became too much,
and my superman came to a wall.

i wasn't worried. i was feeling nothing but peace.
almost as blissfully unaware as when we first moved.
"we can do this!", i thought.

and it was my turn to be the happy, positive, silver-lining spouse to
kick us back into gear.

the more we talked and discussed what still has yet to be done,
and what we wished we knew we could do,
the more stressed we both became.

and then the baby cried.

i slid down the wall into a heap, and for a few minutes,
every clifford in the house let tears fall.

he got up and went to work, making great use of his time and getting lots of things done.
i called my mom, cried a little more cause i needed to,
and then after the pity-party and brief pep-talk,
i was up and running.

i cleaned the kitchen,
took a shower,
put cute clothes on,
scrubbed my bathroom,
made my bed,
did 2 loads of laundry,
edited some photos,
did some designing,
made real food for lunch,
found a few more potential future dwellings,
and even went to costco
{on a day that was apparently a holiday}

cc called and said the movers called him,
so he was in much better spirits too.

i spent the afternoon with my computer off, my phone in the other room,
and with one of my favorite guys.

at one point, i was watching B crawl all over everything
and look back at me at each move for approval.

i thought of how lucky we are.
how happy i am.
and how close we were to a breakdown.

when cc came home, he swooped me up into his arms
and held us both so tight for a minute with a huge grin on his face.

...and we're back!

big girl panties

2012-01-14T14:38:00.000-08:00

my mom is a big fan of telling stories.

when she tells them more than once,
sometimes more than 5 times, its appropriate at our house to hold up the number so she knows, "i'm the one you have told that to.... a whole lot."

but usually i laugh and pretend i haven't, like its new,
cause that is what a daughter with tact would do.

one time peg had a dream, after 3rd baby or so,
when dad was ~~working lots~~ living at the office,
and she was home with the 3 boys.
{that i can only imagine were hell in a barrel...}

if i remember right, in the dream she saw {unnamed for protection} her former boyfriend
jogging by. or maybe she was jogging and he was standing...?
anyway, one of them was jogging, and she felt the need to shout out to him,

"i'm reeeeeally happy!!"

totally what peg's ex-boyfriend looked like...

maybe her subconscious was trying to say,
"suck it up, peg! you planned this party, right?
now go live it up!"

so sometimes she and i say "i'm really happy" to remind ourselves that whatever it is we are currently stressing about is really probably some middle-aged dude in magnum-p.i. shorts that you are really glad you didn't marry in the end anyway....

today i spent what i hope is my very last single mom saturday for a long time.

working, and mom-ing, and doing my part to keep us afloat.

sometimes i spend too much time in the online world
thinking about what i could be doing next...

i immediately get in a discouraged funk, and start writing posts in my head about
where i wish i was. and for maybe 10 minutes that place is curled in a ball in my bed with cc holding me.

and then, once i ~~chill~~ go get a swig and take a breath
it always changes:

right here.

that's the answer.

i am soon to be homeless and wandering a new place,
i am soon to start a business out of what often feels less than so.
i am soon to be the mom that makes real food for lunch instead of chunks of cheese and goldfish.
i am soon going to be in san diego, where life will not be resolved of issues, but it will be better.

i am right where i need to be.

...just give me a minute to pull up my big girl panties.

foto friday: reflection

2012-01-13T07:59:00.000-08:00

this week's theme is reflection.

i'm glad we finally got up the nerve

to go night shooting.

once B fell asleep in his stroller,

we were giddy little geeks

we live next door to the most fabulous park that is acres and acres of beauty

and at night it comes alive.

the light kept changing,

the fog would come and go,

the cars would drive by at different speeds...

and with a tripod and a remote

lots can happen...


30 second shutter F/5 125 ISO Auto WB

This is what it literally looked like...

30 second shutter
F/5
125 ISO
White Florescent WB

172 sec shutter
125 ISO
F/10
Florescent WB

member the 80s?
all those bad wedding fotos...
kind of like that...

cc wrote that,
with a flashlight
{backwards}...

and just as we were leaving
{B woke up screaming}
the fog rolled in thick and you couldn't see much...
cc snagged this one...

what a fun date!
it made me realize how lucky i am to be married to
a guy who gets into stuff with me...

and how much we are going to miss our huge park...

and now i am so excited to get to a "big city"
and go take in the night life...
foto style.

be sure to go check out what the other ladies

are reflecting on today...

why joy in the journey?

2012-01-12T11:44:00.000-08:00

when my favorite teacher i ever had,
asked me to write my mission statement in my senior year of high school,
one of the questions we had to answer to end the paper was

"are you about the journey or the destination?"

i thought long and hard about it.
i worried that i would choose wrong and that i would later read her red writing,
"oh...that's interesting..." and i would feel so stupid.

so for days, and long after i had finished the rest of the paper,
i sat ruminating the words journey and destination...

ultimately, i realized i am about the journey.
i love the process of school and roadtrips,
and being pregnant...

...just as much as i do graduating, vacationing, and being a mom.
and because i know where i came from and where i am headed,
i am also about the destination.

so, as an 18-year old, i wrote,

"i am about the journey,

but the destination is my ultimate goal."

and i let her try to decipher what i meant by that.

she picked up on it, right away.
and her red writing took up the entire next page telling me so.

i have thought about that a lot over the years.
i want to be happy now, and enjoy the bumps that life is throwing at me,
while working toward that big huge goal that will drive me to be better.

so its the perfect theme for me this year.
to remind me to stay grounded, humble, and focused.

i just finished writing a mini-rant about how frustrated i am.
i felt better.

but it would be no fun to read for anyone.

knowing that are are so many scammers in the world
trying to ruin my life doesn't help you, and it doesn't help me.

but i realized, writing about it, and deleting it, did.

cc and i have been reminding each other to stay positive.
"joy in the journey" he'll say.

and i need the reminder sometimes.

not even 2 weeks in, and i am already wanting pity for my problems.

turns out, if i don't find a place to live in 2 weeks, i will still live.
i might literally be homeless this time, but fine.
and it will be an adventure we will remember.

that's it, good stories for my grandkids, that's what i'm about.
and the journey.

i'm about that too.

a reason to love nikon

2012-01-11T15:12:00.000-08:00

i thought about writing of my experience last night
that involved a mini-breakdown just following the demise of dinner...

lets just say, the boiling, nearly completed pot of what was going to be my first successful meal in months,
ate the floor. and ate it bad.

though it ruined my night for a while,
and my swearing/yelling mom-tantrum startled my unassuming husband,
it didn't kill me.
and life moved on.

and since we are committed to staying positive this month,

i would much rather talk about nerdy things...

cc and i went night shooting the other night...
which was so much fun and took way too long,
but as we shivered, realized how fun it is to share nerdy hobbies...

and then we came home and captured what happens when you take a baby on said venture
in the cold, way beyond bedtime.

1.4 - 1/200 - 100ISO

reason #43 to love nikon:
old lenses fit on new cameras.

nerd alert!

this is the 50mm off of cc's dad's nikomat {what nikon was called pre-70s}
and it opens to a 1.4 aperture.
the camera is a nikon D7000.

and yes, all of these were straight out of the camera, which i love.

1.4 x 1/400 x 400ISO

i would be lying if i said i wasn't a bit upset that it took me this long to try using the old lens.
i would like to repent now and use it for all further shoots, as it is glorious.

milk duds

2012-01-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

the other night,
whilst making our bimonthly trip to costco,
we stopped by the formula.

knowing that we were going to be out completely by morning,
i looked at the price and noticed, to my delight, how much more comes in the container
at almost the same price. a steal, i thought.

cc wasn't as impressed. in fact, i am sure i brought him shopping
when in a horrible financial mood,
because he picked it up and said, "what?! that is so expensive!"

i wasn't prepared to feel the heat and tears rising, but they did.
i was defensive and immediately realized that i was much moodier about this new change than i had ever anticipated.

i snapped at him and told him not to make me feel any more guilty than i already do,
he recognized his mistake and fixed it fast, and i regretting the snapping.
but it got me thinking...

apparently i really miss breastfeeding.
and apparently there is a guilt associated with stopping.

my brother asked me about it and i told him that really after 6 months, a baby has all he needs nutritionally, but that there is an unwritten 1-year mark in the breastfeeding community because of health, bonding, financial...etc. that i really wanted to meet.

i didn't.

i kept pushing back my goal like i was running a marathon.
just another month, just one more month...

cc wrapped his arms around me and thanked me for
lasting the 10 months that i did.

cause the last few months were much harder than the first 2 weeks that nearly killed me.

but when we got home for christmas,
all of the stress,
and lack of sleep,
and no normal intake of water/food....
it was too much.

B was eating more than his dad
and i figured he was compensating.

he was.

he was definitely not getting enough at that point.
and neither was i.

so we were done all in one day.

and life moves on...

note for the foto geeks: i found cc's old film camera he inherited from his dad.

turns out the manual focus 50mm lens works on my camera no problem!

check out the blur on that beauty! i am in love.

foto friday: beginning

2012-01-06T09:48:00.000-08:00

i feel a little like we are in the middle, and close to the end.
but not the beginning.

that is coming up soon.

so this week as i thought about beginnings i thought of how it has been almost a year since the huge beginning at the clifford home. all the new feelings that came with being a mom and holding a new human. and long quiet nursing time to just sit and stare and wonder what colors he dreams in...

just before christmas i held this little guy in-between shots and thought immediately that i wished i was pregnant...

that thought vanished just as quickly as it came on.
i finally fit into real jeans, folks.
not giving that up any time soon...

and though its not the beginning for his parents,
its all new to him.

...so is shooting newborns {for me}.
i was asked a year an a half ago to shoot a newborn
and ultimately declined out of fear of failure.

its a different ballgame and definitely takes more prep and planning.
so i guess its a beginning for me to as someone who likes to take photos.

Liam, meet The World.
World, meet Liam.

go see my other faves from the shoot here and let me know what you think!

then go see what's new

here

and here.

happy foto-ing

and happy friday!

used {for those who want to know}:

black bean bag

black velvety fabric

window light

microwavable heating pad

umpteen baskets

radio flyer wagon {doll size}
a textured off-white blanket

{or $14 worth of fabric from joanns}

lots of cute crocheted things the mom made

baseboard

tablecloth

cherry wood slats {home depot $24!}

back drop stand made by my hot husband

{lots of black pvc and math}

black vinyl backdrop {$20-ish amazon}

nikon D7000

18-105 lens
occasional flash off the ceiling

the death of debbie downer

2012-01-03T10:37:00.000-08:00

she went quietly.
i'm sure she had the best of intentions,
and though we can't be sure exactly how she went,
perhaps negativity and anxiety swallowed her whole.

but last night,
somewhere around 5 or 6 pm,
debbie downer was letting light pour in from the big screen.
old fotos of life for the last few years literally flashed before her eyes
and she had a realization:
life is pretty damn good.

who would've known that apple tv she thought was unnecessary would come so in handy.
foto after foto, in no particular order, gave her glimpses into her life.
from wedding, to baby, to dating, memories flooded her little anxious and worried and negative heart...

and debbie died.

{and the happy normal human that used to live here
came home.}

i'm so grateful to be me.

i'm grateful to be living here,

however small this place,

for however short a time.

and to know where we are headed

finally.

i'm grateful to have my little family with me,

who make it so fun and worth it.

who, as it turns out, are the 2 most easiest to love.

i'm grateful to a heavenly father who sends me

wake-up calls so i can be more productive this year.

rome wasn't built in a few minutes,

and neither is a home.

someday

is perfectly fine with me.

my theme for 2012:

joy in the journey

to-do in 2-oh-1-2

2012-01-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

one of my favorite things is setting goals.
making lists,
and checking things off that list.

what a beautiful sense of accomplishment.

if i had on my 2011 list, "have the best new year's eve party with great friends"
it would be checked.

we went where little man could go down while mom and dad had a few hours to play with some friends...

who are more like family.

...who know what it's like to move with this company,

and most of whom will be following us to the san diego.

we almost didn't go out because we worried about B's cold and how awful he sounds.

and who would come babysit on new year's eve??

turns out it was just what the doctor ordered for us all.

we decided on the way home it was the best new year's party

we've ever been party to.

yesterday, cc and i sat down with each our own mini bottle of bubbly.

and after watching two emotional episodes of Extreme Home Makeover

and dreaming up our future home's design and decor,

and the child that made us want to rip our hair out safely in bed,

we started our list....

big red's to-do in 2-oh-1-2:

move to san diego

throw a super fun birthday party for a 1-yr-old

run {at least} a 10k in our vibram 5-finger shoes

go on a "real" vacation to somewhere we haven't been: just us

move into a house: bought or rented

finish the book of mormon as a family

be better at regular family home evening

get organized

bring it on, 2012!

foto friday: old & new

2011-12-30T08:09:00.000-08:00

i'm baaaaack.

sorry fellow foto friends.
last week i was completely checked out.
i needed a vacation, and i tell you,
i still need one...

this week's theme is old & new,

its made me think of how this year was the year to change my life forever.

our lives, forever, i should say.

i often find it hard to remember my "old" life...

and never have i found more meaning in

"out with the old, in with the new."

we are so ready
to start this dance party
to light this candle,
to blow this joint....
...or popsicle stand.

i am mentally, emotionally just packed up waiting in the car....
waiting... waiting, sweetheart....


i should mention that cc made these long boards. thus why they are burned with his name.

hope you all have a

happy new year!!

and go do what you do in 2-0-1-2!

check out what the other FF ladies cooked up...

lil mO hAha

jacksonians

glassford

a big red christmas

2011-12-28T23:07:00.000-08:00

christmas eve:
begin with fotos,
mix in some food and family and singing,
and end at the movies.

{turns out 7:30 on christmas eve is a great time to go see a movie.}
and yes, sherlock {the second} is a good one.

and yes, if i have a sitter and a few hours,
i will almost always utilize that time wisely.

{even if that sitter can't really hear or technically get up and down the stairs all that fast...}

its fun to be at the cliffords for christmas when the g-ma and g-pa great are here.
they always make everything more fun...

i can't look at this foto without laughing...

after a high temp,
run to the drugstore,
and very little to eat for the little guy,
B slept almost 13 hours.

it was a christmas miracle.

and he was completely happy all morning.

{note: the necklace i'm wearing made by cc.

he loves watching project accessory

and i think secretly wants to be a hardcore dude

that cuts and pounds metal all day - minus the tats.}

cc's favorite candy is nerds.
my mom always says, "you are what you eat!"

and if you knew all the geeky things cc made out with this year...
including our 5-finger running shoes... his universal remote, apple tv....

santa figured there isn't really an age too young
to give your kid a shiny new red car...

and the world disappeared to Boss after that...

and with 4 generations of moffats

and 4 generations of cliffords,
{C. Nyle, C. Nyle, B. Nyle, and D. Nyle}

i would say that was
one successful first christmas
for these 2 parents
and one happy little 10 month old.

...perhaps later we will address the fact that

we have been sick for the last 4 days...

102 temps and vomiting around here is not good for anyone involved...

christmas eve eve {a change will do you good}

2011-12-27T22:56:00.000-08:00

our family dynamic has changed quite a bit over a short period of time.
more people, more kids = less time together.

to maximize our moffat time, we had our christmas eve
on christmas eve eve.

phase 1: fun
we split up into teams
came up with a christmas tune,
and with access to cereal and other fine gems,
created christmas dioramas of joy...

phase 2: fotos.
we always try to get a family foto in,
with all the families
and the little ones.

its so fun to snap pictures of B now that every one
captures a completely different look

phase 3: g-ma gift/caroling
g-ma gave us our favorite cereal & a bowl as well as our shirts for the year:
"gimme some SNAPS" in honor of her new biz.

then we went out caroling, just to a few families,
and even though the last one wasn't home,
we loved the acoustics of the doorway so we stood there and sang our entire set
and rocked out to a closed door.
that's why i love this group.

best news of having christmas eve on the eve eve?
2 more days until christmas!

a mother's first christmas

2011-12-27T13:57:00.000-08:00

it would almost be silly to say this is B's first christmas.

he wont remember the fuss we all made to ensure
everything was just right.
the stress of packing and the long long drive from here to there.

he wont remember how many smiles his little crinkle nose
incited in just one week. how much it meant for grandparents to have a few minutes
of bliss.

he wont remember how much fun he had dancing around in rooms full of wrapping paper
and a full audience. or even the toys and cars and puzzles and clothes
that he was showered with.

but i will.
i will remember everything.

i will remember how different it feels to think of Christmas
with a little boy on my lap. how much more it means to me
to hear songs about mary and how she felt as a mother of such an important little guy.

it was great.
we spent time with family,
we were successful in our gifting,
we were able to see maddi for a few minutes.
{yes-- see. she was allowed to skype!}

and i will remember our last 10-hour drive home from arizona.
B slept most of it, and when he wasn't sleeping, he was smiling.
no crying, no screaming, just a this-will-never-happen-again perfect drive.

why it will never happen again?
because by the end of January,

we will officially be in San Diego!

on traditions

2011-12-24T13:05:00.000-08:00

this year traditions are transient on all sides of christmas for our families.

we are getting older, more of us have kids,
and it means we have made some changes to keep it all rolling.

i love new traditions,
and since i became a clifford, this is been a fave.
just us girls go shopping with mom {and this year grandma too}
and she buys most of our christmas gifts.
{then promptly hides and wraps them.}

if we go over thanksgiving weekend,
we hardly remember what we picked out and we are completely surprised.
its awesome.
and such a fun time to shop with the girls.

{not pictured} is my favorite moffat tradition that i am so glad still lives...
caroling.

the moffats don't just sing, we sang.

last night we had christmas eve with my family,
after our party, {the peeps that like to go singing} piled up in the car and went to see the few families that know to expect us every year.

we rock out a little, we cry a little, and when we get home, we all feel so happy.
we all came home and went straight to work cleaning up the party mess as we hummed and smiled. it was weird.

so i'm sorry about not sharing a tradition foto with you yesterday for foto friday,
but all of our good ones haven't happened yet, and to be honest,
i have been so busy playing that i just haven't been good at ensuring documentation.

dear mr. clifford, {insert sappy christmas tune here}

2011-12-21T23:38:00.000-08:00

its not that it isn't fun to be home.
it is.

its just that when you're not here,
its kind of just... not as great.

your child has been having a ball with family.
he has been sleeping fairly well considering,
and has been loving his cousins and cute grand-peeps
who cuddle and love on him all day.

but i'm ready for you to come home now.
like today.
and we can finally all be in one place at the same time.
and then we can have our first little holiday
with our little guy.

hurry home, please.
we are all ready.

love,
~m

home

2011-12-20T20:14:00.000-08:00

there is something about cuddling up into mom's arms
with a warm mug of something
and my baby asleep somewhere
that really warms the soul.

there is something to be said about leaving said baby
in an uncle's arms to go get an overdue pedicure
and maybe even a really fantastic massage
to make everything better.

that was just what i needed...

and there is something about daddy's homemade ice cream
and the big brothers flying each other like airplanes just to see if they can.
and all of the little cousins running around and playing together
because they are finally in one place.

i suppose i can get into christmas.

foto friday: somethin tasty {week 15}

2011-12-16T10:32:00.000-08:00

so i probably read your blog when you wrote about that one thing you made for the holidays that was fabulous and new and probably difficult and therefore impressive to make...

and i probably drooled.
then i probably went right on with my day with no intention to do the same.

that's not really me, but i just haven't had the motivation to create as it relates to food this season, which is REALLY not me!

i like food. a lot. i have just been in a funk with dinners because we have been so busy and well maybe my creative juices are just occupied at the moment with designing and christmas and all that. so we eat pasta and blah blah meals cause its just how it is.

yesterday, i had a cookie exchange to go to and as i was on my way out the door to go to the store, cc walked in! at 3:30 in the afternoon!!

it was more than what i needed since this week has been so long already.

we went to the store and even picked up some new fun things for dinner.
then i made the cookie recipe my mom said i was allowed to share. they were cuties.

cc's company gave us locally grown,
18-yr old balsalmic and lemon olive oil as a christmas gift
so we got some fresh mozzarella and basil and made the
tastiest caprese i've ever had.
{ps - its the only way cc eats tomatoes}
such a nice break from pasta and burritos.

then we made cookies.

sugar dip cuties
{aptly renamed my be and written as dictated by my mother}

take:
1 cup butter {2 sticks}
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg

cream together.
whip the bajeebers outta them and make them real fluffy.

"don't you think 'bajeebers' is a little technical?"

"no, bajeebers is the correct technical term here."

add:
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp almond extract

sift first, then add:
2 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp of cream of tartar
1/2 tsp salt

"really? it has to be sifted, mom?"

"yes. get a sifter. wait, you don't have a sifter?!"

mix well and roll into 1 inch balls
roll each ball in sugar.
colored sugar.
if you don't have colored sugar - color it.

bake 9-10 minutes @350 and take em out.
DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO BROWN!

"how do i know when they're done then?"

"take them out after 9-10 mintues!"

go check out the other ladies and see what's cookin at their abodes!

bring me some figgy pudding

2011-12-14T10:09:00.000-08:00

ps, it's way more fun to shop for my own kid for Christmas.

chris is so tough. he never wants anything... except all the things he floods my inbox with as not so subtle hints.... well, at least they aren't tools that we pay to keep in a shed...

even though I know he will enjoy the paper more than anything, it's fun to shop for the little man. cc had the brilliant idea of buying gifts separately for B so they are at least a surprise for us - so fun!!

after yesterday's great loot, and since they are secret, i had to hurry and wrap them - my personal favorite part... which means they at least get to live under our very first tree for a few days before our trip to the desert for Christmas.

i used what i had, but i kind of love that it matches the tree's
{and if i might steal a word from project runway} "aesthetic"...

christmas shopping: 80% done.

bob cratchet's wife

2011-12-12T10:53:00.000-08:00

a few years ago i posted that my new year's resolution was to
find my long lost tact.

update: still haven't.

a brief moment as background for non-family...
{cc is in construction mgt.
we are here in the central coast for only 18 months
to finish this hospital that is due to finish in 5 weeks.}

things are tense because this deadline is going to be tough to meet, so everyone has been dreaming of christmas and a minute to breathe before the raging storm that will be january.

we stuck around through thanksgiving to ensure a good solid christmas break.

lo and behold, most everyone's vacation time was yoinked for christmas.
cc will get 3-4 days instead of the nearly 2 weeks we have dreamt about all year.
no cabin, no week with family after the hullabaloo of christmas...

i wept.

then i got furious.

then cc told me we were going to a christmas party at the boss's house.
the one who, to me, could only be known as scrooge.
and i with my positive, grateful-for-a-job husband, felt like bob cratchet's wife.

i practiced my words carefully...

first thing he asked me when i saw him at his large house was
"so are you guys heading down for christmas?
big mistake...

{i was already on edge about the arrogant cop who pulled me over for no reason that morning and talked to me like i was an incoherent 5 year old...
unfortunately, i was a bit tactless in my dealings with him too...}

i tried to mix the humor with my rage so he could still hear how ticked i am about it...
lets say i think he picked up on it.

my blood boiled most of the night until we left.
we had a good time with all of the co-workers,
most of whom seemed a little more than peeved.

as we left, {the boss-man} finally announced to everyone that a lot of us will be leaving to the next site {san diego} in 6-8 weeks!!
{information we have been waiting to hear for months!}

the one glimmer of happiness.

i felt only slightly better to have aired my grievance, but
i would be lying if i said i didn't feel like a crazy person.

i was trying to leave it all at home when we left for church yesterday,
and an inspiring mom breezed passed me with a huge grin on her face.

{she has a child with multiple disabilities and she missed a few events over the weekend because of some emergencies that came up.}

i asked her how she was doing and without a moment, she genuinely replied, "i'm great!" she bounced around continuing with her sunday duties without skipping a beat and said things had calmed at her house.

i told her how positive she was, and she just said with a grin, "i have to be."

as she walked away, tears fell.

life is tough for most everyone i know these days and staying positive is the only thing that cures the "life-isn't-what-i-want-it-to-be-right-now" blues.

her trial is one i don't know i could handle half as well as she can.
she's right though, i have to be positive.

its just going to take a little more work than i would like to admit...
and probably a lot more tact than i have at my house...

Christmas GIVEAWAY winners!!

2011-12-12T09:05:00.000-08:00

thanks everyone for joining in the fun for the

VintPrint & SNAPS giveaway!

we will most likely be doing another one once both business calm down after the holidays!

the winner of the case from VintagePrintage goes to...

Nik & Dawna

the winner of the SNAPS basket goes to...

Chef n Training

*please contact me within 48 hours {by Wednesday}

with your address/info so i can get your loot out to you ASAP.

** if i don't hear from you within 48 hours, i will announce a new winner.

foto friday: what i love {week 14}

2011-12-09T09:24:00.001-08:00

what i love?

a boy who loves books

and iphones

and all food-type products.

and an excuse to try out my new vinyl backdrops...

now go see what the other FF girls love!

a little christmas, right this very minute

2011-12-08T08:18:00.001-08:00

a friend said she was making a tree skirt with burlap and i went and bought 3 yards before i even knew what it was going to look like...

i knew i would love it.

and per usual, i was right.

she sent me this chick's tutorial on it.

though you don't really need one.

a few yards of fabric,

{burlap n muslin}

the $5 tree skirt from target

{aka an already cut piece of red felt...}

buy a glue gun,
{"what? you didn't own a glue gun before now!"
shut up mom. and no, i didn't.}

then just glue the rufflles on it.

and admire how fun it is to finally have a tree,
and a cute guy to say, "wow, look how fabulous that looks with our 'rustic' tree."
{my straight, homophobe husband turned slightly nate berkus}

aaaaannnnddd,

don't forget about the give-away.
in addish to the VintPrint case that will go to a lucky winner,
another winner will get one of these cute babies from SNAPS!

i design all of her tags n things,
she pays me in gift baskets.
its a beautiful thing.

what a sham!

2011-12-07T08:01:00.001-08:00

in my effort to clear my home-less blues,
i have been revamping the room i stay up at nights designing in my head....

i am making a duvet to go with these girlies, but i thought i would share my new pin-tucked pillow shams even though the rest is still in a mess by the sewing machine...

i bought the sheets long before i knew i would change my mind a billion times and end up doing some of my own thing anyway... i used to want to do this duvet cover:

...then i didn't love it as much and realized
i would like to use it before 2047...

the thought if a yellowed, moth ball- albeit complete- duvet cover.... no thanks.
and the kissing pleat ones looked too.... perfect.

i think the slightly tousled look is what makes these so much cuter to me....

i can't stop admiring these pillows.
they make me so happy and they were so easy it's disgusting.
the only hard part is the math.
which is when engineer husbands come in handy.

1} first,
the math.
i hate math.
this was the perfect guide.
basically measure your pillow for length and width,
and then add in room for borders and seam.
the back pieces need room to overlap for a pocket and seams.

2} then i cut front pieces
{a few inches larger on all sides cause the pin-tucks will pull it in some}
and i marked my sheet with a disappearing pen on the wrong side like so

3} i followed this tutorial on how to do the pin-tucks,
{basically, twist the sheet at the points and run the machine across
it a few times to hold the cute pucker in place.}

then repeat a million times....
make sure to choose a depth and stick to it
{use a line on the machine as a guide}

4} then laid it flat with the puckers up and remeasured and trimmed

5} i ironed and hemmed 1 in seams for the back pieces where they will over lap,

6} then i pinned little pleats on my front piece {straight out from every tuck} as i pinned all the pieces together so my borders would look clean, and i sewed once around with all of em in place.

7} then i used tape as a guide to make the two inch border and sewed around it...
i think the pleats add a fun different look and make the borders so clean.

and done!

cc kept looking at me like i was a crazy person.
he couldn't believe that i made them.

that's the best part, friends...
the easy ones always get the best reaction.

PS: don't forget about the
VintagePrintage & SNAPS giveaway!!

christmas GIVE-AWAY time!

2011-12-05T15:30:00.001-08:00

so,

in honor of Christmas,
but really just for the halibut,

we wanted to give you a chance to win one of two really fabulous things:
cases and cookies!

a custom designed VintagePrintage* cell case

that fits most smart phones

{see bottom for more info}

~ valued at $49 ~

a gift basket from SNAPS!**

~ valued at $35 ~

{my mom's cookie company that has taken off like a wedding dress},

5 ways to enter:
{all entries must be separate comments to count as separate entries.}

1} leave a comment on this post letting me know you follow BRC. {you MUST be a follower to enter} ---->
~ its only fair the free stuff go to someone who will check back to see if they win!

2} go check out VintagePrintage, then leave me a comment to let me know which you would choose if you win.

3} you can follow BRC on facebook and let me know in a comment.

4} leave a comment to tell us what your favorite christmas treat is... if it happens to be gingersnaps or peppermint bark, you're in luck!

5} mention the give-away on your blog or facebook page and leave me the link in a comment.

winners will be chosen using random.org and announced

monday dec 12

{winners will have 48 hours to contact me or a new winner will be chosen}

*VintPrint cases can be made for the following devices:
iPhone 4/4S,iPhone 3G/3GS, iPod Touch 2G and 4G, BlackBerry Bold 9700/9900/Curve 8520, Samsung Galaxy S Vibrant
**SNAPS basket includes cookies, peppermint bark, 2 kinds of yummy popcorn naughtiness, and instant joy.

Disclaimer: The prizes will be donated

and I will receive no further compensation as a result of this giveaway.

cute as a button

2011-12-05T09:07:00.001-08:00

we have a cute friend in the ward poppin out number 3 this week.
she is darling and new-ish so we wanted to be sure and throw her a party.
even though she said she really didn't need much...

we {my sarah friend and i} figured it was a good excuse to get together,
giggle at cute baby clothes,
and spend a whole day crafting and attempting to use fondant.

i always thought the phrase, "cute as a button" was kind of random....
turns out buttons are cute after all...

foto friday: lens flare {week 13}

2011-12-02T09:47:00.001-08:00

this week's challenge was lens flare.

and since this is one of my new favorite tricks to have in my arsenal,

i was more than excited to just flavor this whole shoot with some fun flare.

it adds such a fun retro-y vintage-y vibe to fotos that make me happy

because it means far less editing to see a good foto.

these cute peeps send out their cute fotos/yearly update

for valentines rather than christmas,

but they got in on the family foto season frenzy anyway.

{more of this shoot is here}

now check out the other FF peeps and their flare!

o tannenbaum

2011-11-30T20:38:00.000-08:00

not that i don't like thanksgiving,

but do we have radio stations dedicated to thanksgiving songs?
no.
do we talk about it all year long?
no.

on sunday we were in with all of the little kids in the nursery and one of them mentioned christmas and the kids nearly ate themselves...

"christmas!!! santa!!! so many presents!!! i'm going to have more presents than you! I am going to have this many... i'm going to have this many presents!!!"

i just love that i get to spend this christmas with this little monkey.
who is just fascinated at the magic of a lightbulb...
and i love that our little new family has our first, very own,
christmas tree this year.

step-child holiday

2011-11-29T10:08:00.001-08:00

i realized as i was posting about christmas already just now,
that i didn't even document thanksgiving.
isn't that always how it goes.

poor thanksgiving. always the leftovers...

then i realized this is the only picture i have of said holiday.
and i only have that cause the man of the house was so delighted in his new job-title that it had to be kept for posterity.
his first ever "dad cutting the turkey" moment.
he stood and waited until i realized my title "documenter of the man-of-the-house."

i didn't see the need for a flag ceremony, but since he did the work on the turkey we were just glad it turned out great and tasted yummy.

{side note: we went with a naughty rub on our birdie this year and put it upside down in a roasting bag. it was perfect. and nearly impossible to burn that way.}

i realize we didn't really take any pictures cause well, we were all still in our grubbies from our 2 mile jog/run that almost killed us in the morning....
and that was after our day was almost shot due to locking ourselves out of the house to go on the run. oops.

and because the table wasn't all dolled up and perfect like my mom would have it at her house.
and my hair was a wreck.

but the food, was delightful.
and the company even better.

and B got to try turkey and potatoes and all kinds of things he loved.

and despite messing up my own roll recipe,
{turns out sugar really is a vital ingredient in rolls}
i would say it was successful for a holiday.
even if most stores wanna try to breeze right over it.

and if it weren't for good food, we probably would.

moving right along....

where i'm at... {a note from a 9-month-old}

2011-11-28T08:26:00.001-08:00

dear journal,

about a month ago, i figured out a way to escape this place!
turns out my chubby legs and toes were not just for eating.
it took me about a week to get my knees working right, but i haul now.
i am as good as gone.

it doesn't take much to get attention around here,
now that i can reach everything in this tiny place.
just touch a cord, dvd, knob, mirror, a piece of dust, thread, or remote
and they come runnin.

these? oh these are battle wounds...
this is training ground for the big stuff.
i just get distracted when i stand
and i am not that graceful at getting down everytime,
so i have a few bruises, lay off.

i think i am catching on to what people are saying to me sometimes too.
i get that bath means personal hot tub time, and sitting in my little chair means chubs are soon to follow. and i know they are mama and dada and i'm boston and all that...

can i tell you something else?
i know i'm a good lookin guy.
i like mirrors.
i climb right up to em and kiss em
cause that's a beautiful face.

and sometimes i talk to my g-ma's on the computer
and i lay on the cheese real thick.
just like when mom takes me to joanns and lets me ride in the cart,
cause the ladies like that kind of stuff.

teeth? i got about 7 of those guys.
keeps the 'rents up some nights,
but it usually means i get another meal and a little rockin time out of it,
so i don't hate it too much.
plus, turns out those are pretty handy when eating sliced carrots...

i think mom thinks i'm broken cause i eat more than her.
but i gotta get big now so i'm not scrawny.
so far its not working, but as long as she feeds me, i'll eat!

a note from mom:
we are still nursing, but i can't say if that will last much longer....
lets just say i would like to still have the ability to nurse #2...

foto friday : in my house {week 12}

2011-11-25T08:11:00.001-08:00

what was in my house yesterday?

this brother of mine who made the 3 hour drive to spend 30 hours with us baking and eating all day...

he teased me for wanting to decorate, but it just didn't feel like a real holiday without a little pomp and circumstance.

for the 3 of us we had:

turkey,

ham,

potatoes,

stuffing,

asparagus,

homemade rolls,

and a pie... a la mode...

we will be eating thanksgiving for months...

now, we are out for black friday!

{friday, friday, gotta get down on friday....}

not sure who to link to yet, and we are gone for a few hours... so hang tight to see more,

or you can stop by to see the other peeps:

grateful

2011-11-24T08:43:00.001-08:00

i made this little humble decoration yesterday cause i was feeling like we were missing something....

i didn't know that it would be my reminder today.

i have never been more grateful to see the sun.
never more grateful for the last 1.5 hours of sleep...

it was a long night for this teether.
and even more for his parents.

i don't think its been this bad since he was a newborn.

needless to say we are walking zombies with headaches and broken backs today...

but since my brother is here,
we have already made 1/10th of our meal {yes, for 3 people}
and its the important part...

and we are headed out this morning to do our own 5k.
calm down, thats like 2 miles.
but we have to do something before we sit down to watch the parade!

i am grateful for many things.
though today i can't say its sleep,
its going to be a good one.

a note while my child screams somewhere in my house...

2011-11-23T10:23:00.001-08:00

some days i jump right into the fray of it all and burn rubber.....
when i just get lots of crap done and leave the social media world to rot in its business...
i don't blog, i don't check facebook, i don't even peek at pinterest....
to be honest, it didn't even cross my mind.

those are the days i get so busy i forget to eat, but the house looks good
and i spent some time in my own little world with Little Man.

and when i climb in bed with my half-dead husband
and he sweetly thanks me for everything i did that day...
i couldnt even tell you what i did....
except break down and hit up jack in the crack,
cause as i said, i forgot to eat.

my brother is coming to me for thanksgiving and i am sort of stressed
that I don't have anything holiday-ish up {not that he will care...}

i am making me some banners and getting started on some baking
and through it, trying to deal with the appearance of pesky tooth number 7.

because baby teeth are the spawn of satan,
it means we are up once a night with a screamer,
and naps are harder to do at times...

but i am grateful.

i am grateful for the excuse to get crafty, and to bake,
and to spend time with family, however small the crowd
in our tiny little place.

senior discount day

2011-11-21T10:00:00.001-08:00

dear dad,

last year on this day, i was with child.
which means i was without brain.

i have done this before,
{think your birthday is on another day than today}
and last year was worse because, well... i was with child.

mom told me that as you went to bed that night you were still hoping i would call.
and because i am an awful forgetful daughter, i hadn't.
and i was the only one who hadn't.

i had only sent you a text saying, lets talk,
but got too distracted to actually send it,
and what's a text on your birthday anyway?

and last night when i wanted to set up a phone date for today the "big day" you said,
"yes, it is! i get to talk to my daughter!!"
{maddi is headed to chicago today and got a 10min phone call from the airport}

that's what i love.
on a day that to most people is a day to focus on yourself
and either celebrate or commiserate your new age,
you, as always, are excited for family.

you may have only a few gray hairs,
but you are one wise old man,
and i love you.

and hey, look on the bright side,
now that you're sixty,
you can get the senior discount
at the theatre!

foto friday: nostalgic {week 11}

2011-11-18T07:57:00.001-08:00

i grew up in a sunflower room,

i loved everything about them,

and i am a huge daddy's girl

{if you haven't noticed}

i remember one morning when my dad woke me up on a saturday

just to drive out into the desert a ways to see some wild flowers.

{not as common in the AZ you see....}

and they are yellow.

and we both loved yellow.

so i snapped some of these at the end of this shoot a few weeks ago

hoping to catch that very thing,

and they were my favorite ones of the bunch.

the more i look at this one,

the more it reminds me of my childhood, my old room,

and that cute old man living at my house that is turning 60 on monday...

now head on over to kristyn to see her nostalgic foto!

check yes or no

2011-11-16T09:07:00.001-08:00

i wont apologize for the travel-log this week because it is what it is,

but i will say that by mid-morning yesterday i had only the hope
of future motivation to get anything done around the house.

it was mid-afternoon when my boyfriend
sent me a formal invite.

it was titled "sanity supper"

i jumped up, put make-up on,
and with a child crawling all over,
finished all of the laundry, vacuumed,
changed my sheets....the works.

something had lit a fire under me.
i could already tell this was just what i needed.

at 5:45 sharp, mr. clifford rang my bell.

{so punctual, as always.}

he is sporting a beard since its movember,
and it looks so dashing on him.
i will admit, i swooned.

and for a moment, i forgot i had a child somewhere...

he swayed like a nervous 16 year old, and said,

"you have a kid?"
"yeah... is that going to be a problem?"
"no, no, i'm into kids..."

he broke character to play with his boy for a bit and to give me props on the house.
much needed validation goes a long way...

and after a night of burgers and endless fries and biggest loser,
i felt like me again.

today, i woke up to a clean, happy home with a
fresh, happy me.

i would say, "lets not let that happen again..."
but lets be real,

this wont be the last sanity supper at the clifford abode...

spent

2011-11-15T08:03:00.001-08:00

this morning i woke up to
toys and books scattered haphazardly all over the floor,
chairs filled with clean laundry,
tables cluttered with projects and things,
a kitchen full of rotting dishes.

i wish i were exaggerating.
lets just say yesterday was a mom day from hell.

i knew it wasn't going to be good when it started with blood on the crib sheets.

i was actually quite productive yesterday.
i got quite a bit done business-wise...
but otherwise, it was hell.

so i run into the timeless blogger's dilemma:
what do i say?

i couldn't say just that i was happy with my productivity and look at the one thing i did because i need the validation, because i am still so mad at the rest of the day.

and i couldn't say look what my kid can do now, cause its kind of making me pull hair out.

and i couldn't really say the entire day was a waste either....so...

here's what i learned yesterday:

- if my baby wakes up at 3 in the morning there is an 80 percent chance
he will just go back to sleep. otherwise, there is probably blood somewhere.

- trips to USPS are just plain inconvenient for babies.
and apparently unhelpful for dudes that work there.

- brown paper packaging will always give me a brief cause to smile in the day.

- fedex is far more convenient for everyone involved.
yet they will charge me my first born in exchange.
one that i usually would like to keep...

- sick babies with sore mouths are unnecessarily melodramatic.

- so are crawling babies that think they are 2 year olds...
climbing, biting, hair-pulling, and serious tantrums...

- having leftovers on monday night should be mandatory.

- i will never be able sweep or vacuum enough.

- choking is almost always going to incite tears from more than one.

- dads are for holding screaming babies and weeping moms and
rubbing feet when destructoboy finally retires.

- i shouldn't try to nurse a baby with that much pent-up frustration....
i am surprised i still have boobs.

oh, excuse me, i have to go,

the banshee is screeching for his mom again....

the view from here

2011-11-14T13:28:00.001-08:00

it feels so busy,

its going by so fast...

and then i catch a whiff of my life in the rear-view...

i remember talking to my belly in the car as if little man were here

and i would imagine moments like this.

when he would just smile back at me in the mirror,

or stare out into the vineyards and fields as we drive by...

my grateful heart smiles at that little joyful memory.

foto friday: iphone foto {week 10}

2011-11-10T21:03:00.001-08:00

iphone fotos are my favorite.

i find because we have them on us at all times,

and they take such quality fotos,

we take more fotos of the little moments

and all the things that make me smile...

ismile, ilaugh, iphoto.

and since today is 11.11.11,

here are 11 things i am grateful for,

in no particular order:

- technology. being able to ichat with moms to calm my sick and cranky child for a few minutes is priceless. and we may or may not have broken my strict "we are not watching tv until 2" rule this week for some comforting ellen. worth it.

- costco. sounds silly, but last night we had much needed early date night, which was a quick trip out to costco for warmer jammies, a $10 pizza to last 3 days, and a nice cold swig. chello!

- a smart baby. this week he learned to climb up on things, officially crawl, and hold a bottle. all while sick. this morning was the first time finding him standing in his crib. oh great...

- the best roommate & boyfriend i have ever had.

- moms. mine offered to drive here last night to feed me and take my baby so i could rest. i cried thinking of how much i wish i could be close to my mom.

- sundays. i look forward to em every week. the one day i get to see a bunch of people that make me smile, put on a killer outfit with heels, and be uplifted.

- friends. i have met a few new ones this week and that makes me happy. my friends mean the world to me. old or new.

- photos. i have been editing this family's fotos this week. and remembering how much fun they are and what a blessing to be able to do what i love all of the time

- rain. its about to up in here and its my favorite season of all.

- music. thus the foto. we are a music family. always listening or creating music. if B were to leave us today, that would be the one thing he would know about us, that his parents love music and want him to as well. {currently rockin to adele this morning}

- an excuse to slow down. i would never wish for a sick dude, but its been nice to have each other's undivided attention. he screams more, cries more, hates life more, but he also cuddles more, smiles more, and appreciates me.

now head on over to christine

to see what her iphone can do!!

dear mr. clifford, {deja vu}

2011-11-09T09:53:00.000-08:00

when i was a little girl,

i remember clearly those nights that i would cuddle into my daddy's arms.

the living room was dimly lit, the rocking chair fluffy and soft.

he would rock and hum to me, and i would feel so safe and calm.

i can't be sure how many times i fell asleep that way.

or how many nights my daddy's chest was the only soothing agent.

even when i wasn't so little anymore...

i still cuddle with my daddy every chance i get.

what i didn't know then was that it would be the standard.

i would dream of some faceless man that would come home early from work,

make dinner while i fed our sick baby,

who would clean the kitchen and get all of the baby's things in order...

who would lay by my side as i fed that sweet monkey,

and then who would tenderly sweep that baby up in his arms

and rock him gently in circles

and sing sweet dutch lullabies until he finally fell asleep.

i dreamed of this very moment.

and wished i could bottle it up

to view over and over in my pensieve.

after such a long day,

with such a sad little boy,

i couldn't think of better medicine for us both.

those are the sounds of shrieking eels...

2011-11-08T08:33:00.000-08:00

"we" have a cold here.

and when B has a cold, we talk collectively,

because it is an all-inclusive event.

everyone is up all night,

everyone feels sad and crappy,

and everyone wakes up hoarse and raspy.

...and apparently with a tape worm.

he refuses to stop eating.

so i will let him.

he refuses to let me put him down,

so i will hold him.

he wont let me out of his sight

so i'll be right here.

if only we could saddle up with some ramen and princess bride it would all be better...

or take a nap, like at any time....

you are welcome to, no one would mind...

it could be a long day...

a memoir of that one day i was on tv for 2 seconds

2011-11-07T11:06:00.000-08:00

my dad and i drove to the store, and as he rattled off the things i was supposed to remember,

i was petitioning the void of moms for both answers and validation.

what do i do, moms? i hadn't spent 2 seconds worrying about what to do in the event that i would have to leave my 6-month old nursing child for half a day.... and much less with a dad threatening to feed him ice cream....

i had almost decided not to go to what would be one my my favorite things i have ever done in my life: the taping of the Sing Off. but cc insisted, sure that it would be a huge regret. as per usual, he would be right.

i took your advice, grabbed the formula that seemed to have the most positive reviews from my fellow moms, and handed my oblivious child over without lookin back, my beating heart finally slowed.

then my mom and brother and i squealed our little 14-yr-old girlish way into Sony Studios for the night {the 6-hour-long taping}.

we sat next to a set of very emotional and proud parents that were so fun to watch. you would think we had a few drinks before we showed up, but since they don't let you leave for food, we were there, with some of the most talented entertainers, a host that believes he's God's gift to the job, and we were sleep/food deprived crazy people who were voiceless in the morning.

they run through the opening number 4 times for angles and sound, but we didn't mind.
nick lachey refused to stand up straight even one time, even though we told him to every time. and i swear i could score his voice to music. not in a good way...

every number blew us away. we have our favorites, but cause we sat next to parents of katie from urban method {who rocks}, friends of afro blue {who are the most musically sound of any group yet}, and the director of vocal point {who are arguably one of the more entertaining groups}, we made our favorites known.
i also happen to think delilah and pentatonix rock too...

at one point between takes, mckay from VP looked up to the audience to point out his girlfriend, and i waved back, the rest of the night i waved to a confused mckay and tried to get a face of recognition back... we amused ourselves for hours... you might hear us shouting his name if you watch the show...

yep. that would be us, not his obviously far more mature girlfriend...

later, they would have a singing competition {off-screen} for the audience and i would get so crazy screaming for rob that they would ask if i was drunk. my reply, "go BYU!!"

after all of the performances, the judges took their sweet time deciding, so we left, before we found out which group went home. so i will be just as surprised as you... which i kind of love.

B was asleep when we got back to the house, and i was later told he completely refused the formula, and somehow still fell asleep. tender mercies.

cc drove to LA while i was at the taping, so i didn't see him until morning.
he asked me how it went, and through my raspy smoker-remaining voice with black sacks under my eyes, i told him,

"that was the funnest thing i have ever done..."
and it was. might go down in my top 5 favorite actually.

i hope you watch it. tonight.

and then i hope you call me to tell me if you see me.
cause you will definitely hear me.

see, i'm famous.
watch out, ellen, i'll be there soon!

foto friday : little things {week 9}

2011-11-04T09:22:00.000-07:00

ok.

i guess this little challenge is proving to be harder than we thought.

it means we really have to be on our game, and well in advance.

and quite frankly,

that doesn't and shouldn't happen 52 weeks of the year...

so we allow ourselves to take excused absenses once in a while.

{and since we have 2 with child, one moving, and one with 12 businesses,

i think that's perfectly fair.

i don't even really feel i have a good reason...

cept good ole fashioned un-inspiration}

consider this the note from my mother

that says "my child ate my brain...

and subsequently any remnant creativity..."

this week i had to remember i am not the best at everything, or even some things.

i am not always on top of my game.

but i am good at some things and its the little things that matter,

right?

this week its about the little things.

and there have been lots of little things that have made me smile this week...

the goldfish i bought to take to church...

{to pretend they are for my child... but really, we eat them...all.day.long.}

and my new green bean bag from angie

that makes my heart happy every time i see it.

{not pictured}

my running shoes,

my vintageprintage iphone case,

my little monkey crawl/worming and pulling up on stuff in the last 2 days,

and the letter from maddi that made me miss her terrible.

seriously, i will get back on my game next week...

now head over to the ever-talented and queen of the make-it-work moment:

hilary at little mO hAha

Vintage Printage - my etsy shop is open!

2011-11-02T08:30:00.000-07:00

shameless plug:

my shop is finally open!

in case you wanted to know.

right now, i am designing cell phone cases {for most smart phones} because that's just how i feel about it, but i will soon have a few prints available as well.

and since you are my close friends, i will let you in on a few secrets:

1) if you buy a case this month, and you enter this code {NOV2011} you will get 10% off.
cause these would be rad christmas gifts. s'all i'm sayin...

2) if this blog gets to 100 followers {an arbitrary number i chose just cause it might be a while...}, i just might give one of these out. cause i need an excuse to have a give-away. those are so dang fun.

3) i will soon be adding fun prints too, but i am having an obsession with cases right now.

here are a few of the favorites so far:

this is the one currently on my phone. it makes me smile every time.

Source: etsy.com via Meg on Pinterest

grateful day two:

i am sure glad to have an outlet for random ideas and design.

things that fly

2011-11-01T10:01:00.000-07:00

today when i found my pumpkins they were in sad shape.

it was Hangover II

move on, lady, halloween's over.

i equal parts love and hate that its november already.

that it is getting cooler and smells like christmas...

and i can still remember the last one so clearly.

that the morning fog lasts a few hours longer than usual

so i am finally grateful to be lacking air conditioning.

and that last night we finally lowered the crib to its last notch.

cause i watched B climb up to his knees and look out at me...

and that wasn't the first time.

just the other night he pulled right up and stood right by us at the couch.

it was a horror movie.

things that little don't do things like that...

i watch him get on all fours and rock and roll before take off...

he looks at me with a silly grin like,

"get ready mom... its going to whiz right passed you.

this aint no hot air balloon ride, lady."

and as i sit down to write this, there is a newborn picture right beside me on the desk...

just shouting at me,

you can't stop it.

can't even slow it down.

{consider this my grateful day one}

my secret: i am married to clark kent

2011-10-31T08:30:00.000-07:00

having realized my own mistake, {failing to realize my new favorite holiday},

i decided to take a stand.

after i bore my testimony of my need to dress up to cc,
he let me splurge on some wings and leg warmers, but otherwise these costumes were pretty cheap.

i just sewed the B's and made his little wings.

{they are good from far... but far from good...}

maybe i'll get better pictures tonight...

nonetheless, i was giddy about it all week...

saturday was the trunk-or-treat and i was going to be ready this time.

we spent the morning picking up the rest of the goods
{make-up, eyelashes, candy...ya know, the important stuff...}

of course as i was getting ready, {insert really pathetic sad face here}
i realized i somehow lost my eyelashes! in true wife form,
i put on a real sad one and cc headed back out to save the day.

he then came home and took watch of the little B while feeding him and carving 5 punkins so i could take hours to get ready...

turns out he really gets into that part...{the pumpkin carving, not the waiting for me part}

when we got to said event, cc jumped in and got really into the decorating the truck too... he wanted to be sure it looked good and creepy. {ps, thanks Kristyn for the luminaries idea - i had totally forgotten about those!!}

then he followed around as we B's fraternized and giggled with all the other costume clad folks and took pictures and took all of the criticism and snarkiness i so lovingly threw his way everytime someone asked him "what he was supposed to be..."

then, while i sat, he single-handedly loaded up and got everyone home,
including a sleeping B.

as we parked and saw sweet little man sleeping i realized cc was in costume all along.
he was clark kent.
and that might just be what we call him every year.

superman. the man who came home after all of the wife-judgement and running around and honey-do crap i threw at him all the day long and you know what that sweet, non-judgemental, cutest, humbling son-of-a-gun husband did?

he cleaned the tornado i left in the bedroom {it was bad}.
and made the bed....
{then got up in the morning and did all the dishes and cleaned the kitchen...}

i know i don't deserve it,
and i know i shouldn't reveal his true identity to the world...

so don't tell,
but i sure love being married to a guy who can fly.

foto friday: shadow play {week 8}

2011-10-28T09:00:00.000-07:00

i love that shadow ended up on halloween weekend.

we had all kinds of creepy ideas...

but some of them required going into the creepy park at night

which sounded well.... creepy. and we only had so much time...

i found some inspiration fotos and wanted to see how to create my own creepy shadows...

who knew masking tape on a window could turn B into a monster.

ps. i am going to try not to have every week be shots of my kid....

we'll see how that goes.

now head over to christine to see what she done with shadow play.

turns out food is the theme of this post... again.

2011-10-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

since cc had friday off, and mom was in town,

we figured we should probably take B out to pick his first punkin.

we went to our favorite place to get fresh stuff:

avila barn.

not only do they have acres of pumpkins you can choose from

{that you get to by hayride},

but stacks and stacks of all the colors of the seasonal gourds

amid the various other fresh local fruits and veggies.

there is also a store with cute cute old fashioned toys and candy

and drool-worthy kitchen dishes and decor...

naturally, its the MIL's favorite place to go.

B picked one he liked and promptly tested it for ripeness

our family of pumpkins would look perfect on a doorstep....

if we were allowed to put them there...

this place also has the cutest old fashioned ice cream shop we like to frequent, but we didn't get any because we had recently binged like college girls

at our new favorite place rancho nipomo.

a bit schizo...

yummy barbeque, yummy homestyle,

and yes, i can't believe i am sayin it, yummy mexican.

{don't worry, arizona. still got nothin on you.}

though the barn is 2 minutes from the beach, we went the next day...

such a fun week.

and i think i am barely back to my pre-MIL-visit weight.

if you build it they will come part 2 {my fantasy bedroom dreams come true}

2011-10-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

i have no business trying to re-up my bedroom.
there is no excess funds in the clifford tank to support such a thing,
but we have been in a serious funk style-wise in the bedroom...

when a mom comes into town, its the best cause they are both project queens.
my MIL is the interior designer who knows furniture re-uping like no one else...
cept maybe natty.

i told her what i wanted to do and she flipped. so we spent the first 2 days of her vacation sanding and painting my new fabulous headboard and the coffee table that i can now sell...
{though now i have to keep it for a minute cause i love it...}

here's the before:
{after it was sanded a bit. it is such pretty wood but just not me at all.}

and after repainting/glazing the medallion in a pretty gray/metallic,

to this:

and this old thing,
that i was going to throw up on craigslist and realized it just might be too ugly...

to this:

slippery when wet

2011-10-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

this is my water monkey.

who, on dry land is quick on his newly discovered toes,

learning life's basics far faster than necessary.
worm-ing his way around the house,
enjoying the use of his opposable thumbs on every small object,

and who has a fascination with any and all water.

hence the name...

his eyes light up at any talk of bathing

he fully knows that means he gets to sit nekked in his one-man hot tub

and he's a fan.

and what man wouldn't be?

last night dad taught the monkey how to splash.

he just about drown himself in all the excitedly flying droplets

and as much as i love that he has quality bathing time with dad,

there is something about the thought of growing up near the water that makes me shimmy a little.

happy shimmies, of course.

go ahead, just try to shimmy without smiling...

embarassed {the 1 day a year i really don't like my husband}

2011-10-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

we finish sentences, we even talk in sync most days.
we have the same taste in pretty much everything, except for some recent fashion trends that he has yet to jump on board with...

if you were cheesy, or recently had a pms-y weekend watching sleepless in seattle,
you might even say we are MFEO. cause we are.

i am the extrovert, he is.... not.

every year halloween comes around and the same conversation ensues:
we could be...
no.
or maybe we could....
no.
but what if we...
not a chance.

like a fly on the ground--gone. dead and lifeless.
and it sucks the wind out of any other future ideas.

so it didn't so much matter the level of creativity involved in the idea,
cc + a costume = embarassing.

so he says...

so saturday night we went to a halloween party with a bunch of couples. i was sure there would be more that wouldn't dress to impress. i was banking on at least one other couple with no sense of humor or something.

my stomach was already churning on the way over to the party, i could hear the comments coming my way as the one theatre/performer/loud-mouth/extrovert/person that you would expect would do something fabulous when it comes to purposely looking like a fool...

naturally, we walked in to a room full of couples that had thoughtfully planned out their schemed and themed costumes and here i was in jeans and a flowy top
{to conceal the 5 pounds gained since my MIL has been here.}

i wasn't just mad, i was really mad.
and even more than mad, i was realizing that this could very well be one of the very few times in my life i can actually chalk up to embarassment.

so i mustered up all of my high school cold-shoulder skills and sat across the room from cc and could barely look at him. he was the only other human in jeans and he just sat there by himself totally ok without joining in the fun. anger...

in a weird way, i felt completely vunerable, not quite myself, and i hated it.

it wasn't until the next morning that cc finally told me that he realized it wouldn't be that embarassing to dress up when everyone else was....and promised that next year he would go all out with me. {thus the devious need to blog it - documentation and proof}

i had already set a reminder on my phone to remind me next september to come up with something real good even if he didn't come along for the ride.

cause that's who i am. the over-the-top, almost offensive at times, loud one at the party with huge hair and an accent and getup to remember.

but it's just so much more fun when its you and me.

and after i got dressed for church, he came in with a matching tie, just to prove it.

foto friday: photo story {week 7}

2011-10-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

this is one of those times that my week was more busy and fun

and full of projects in my head, and to be honest,

this wasn't one of them.

so, with cc's help, and the slo farmers market,

i can give you a glimpse...

now head on over to see what kristyn has for you!

baby mama's mamas

2011-10-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

g-ma clifford is here.

for a whole week.

there is lots of cuddling, squealing, cooing, crawling, and frolicking going on around here...

and b is as happy as a go-go dancer too.

i love having company like i love that psych is back on tv.

and moms are my favorite guests.

when my mom comes, we get projects done,

laugh lots, and leave happy.

when cc's mom comes,

its more of the same.

lets say in the 24 hours she's been here

we have made 3 swig runs and 2 home depot runs.

and we like ourselves.

having my MIL around has reminded me of 2 things:

1) i was once a very intense mom.

the poor thing tip toes around here like she is going to offend this newish mom that was once so tied up in schedules and stimulation and germs and it makes me smile.

{ps: i am not that mom anymore. }

2) i really love not working a 9-5.

as we were using power tools and playing catch with friend's dogs i realized that kids in this neighborhood are at school slaving away at time tables, their dads are sitting in a trailer at a job site somewhere punching numbers and taking names...

and i am here, with my MIL and my cute kid just working on fun projects

...but mostly playing.

i love my life.

ticked

2011-10-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

i am not easily offended.

i am not one to even get angry all that often.

but you know what really makes me mad
like blood-curdling face-melting pissed off?

breaking cute one-of-a-kind dishes my mom gave me,

and

getting plum juice on my brand new shirt i made for a dollar out of really cute fabric.

{i know i know.... it was a dollar} but seriously folks, wasn't breaking the dish plenty in one morning....? i only got to wear the shirt once!!

i spent all day boiling water, and sitting my precious oh-so-expensive shirt in special stain removers.

i would like to go back in time, to yestermorn and be more on my game.

pay close attention to all the nooks and crannies of the day...

and when i called to tell my mom of afore mentioned reasons for being so ticked at the world, she interjected to tell me of a dear family friend that passed.

boy do i feel stupid.

it's a dish.

and fabric. that cost me a dollar.

perhaps i need a nook and cranny adjustment after all.

dear self,

get over yourself.

tow trucks and two year olds

2011-10-17T11:06:00.000-07:00

as i mentioned before, our little friend carter is 2.

he really. really. likes trucks.

so while his mom and i schemed,

the boys played around...

cc even got to wear a work shirt

{cause it sports a hard hat on the back...}

we cleared the dump zone with a 2-year old excavator,
{which is loads of fun when every item gets a full victory lap}

{throwing dangerous tools around, without a hard hat: not recommended}

then we dug into yummy dirt

and the party was over.

good friends. great party. one idea i will probably steal.

foto friday: emotion {week 6}

2011-10-14T07:44:00.000-07:00

this is carter.

he is 2 today.

and who has more emotion than a 2 year old?

the first few months we were here,

i would say "i am going to play with danielle today"

who's that? "carter's mom"

i have wanted to learn to take the indoor studio-like fotos without having to set up a full studio with all of the lighting equipment and all that jazz...

{although i'm sure i'll get to that eventually...}

for my first indoor shoot,

i have positive emotions.

f/6.3 1/100 ISO 500

f/5 1/160 ISO 500

now check out rosemary to see what she cooked up!

{shot with a nikon d7000
using a white sheet background,
external flash bounced off ceiling,
and natural light via window}

phone call

2011-10-13T08:30:00.000-07:00

rob: what's going on at your house?
me: just ya know, ***painting, making cookies, designing...

oh, and trying out my new camera...

rob: oh, sounds like that's going pretty well over there...

rob: he... really likes that new camera....
me: oh my, this thing is amazing...

rob: {shouting at some driver} just turn on your damn blinker! megan, i almost just died.
me: i can't believe how bright this thing is.... the sensor on this guy is amazing...

rob: like literally...almost died.
are you taking pictures of your ticked child?

me: .... {click, click, click} .... so, the camera works just fine....

***this is our little inside joke that i am always doing something totally random or amazing when he calls. {hint: i'm not}

"the one who dies with the most fabric wins"

2011-10-12T10:47:00.000-07:00

says my mother.

i just laugh when she does because i know that every few years we have to have an intervention and help clean our her ~~sewing room~~ abiss of fabric with a machine in there somewhere...
{in her defense, it is currently fully organized and has been for about 42 days.}

even recently, she has shown me all kinds of fabric and what she has done with it/plans to do with it. and naturally, she inspires me...

fabric choice is a regular topic around here.
and we talk a. lot.

yesterday some friends invited me to go to this 99 cent fabric store in solvang
{which is this cute little dutch touristy town just 30 minutes away}

for a dollar a yard, i couldn't even help myself...

and i have plans for every one.

we shall see if they live lives as real garments
or end up in my mom's wasteland of excess fabric...

happiness is a $12 bag full of projects.

sunday sweater {re-up #4}

2011-10-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

well, this sweater here is number 4 that i have re-up-ed,
and when i look at them all i realize that rome wasn't built in a day.

this was was by far the toughest, and to real people that really sew,
they would probably laugh that i even said so.
but i'm learning, so frankly scarlett, i'm proud of it.

and every time i make something, i am learning a new skill i can throw in my bag of tricks for later. it just so happens that some of them work out and equal cute things for me. #winning!

{thanks mom, for the confidence boost.
you're right, that little fabric flower at joanns
{that i nearly jumped ship for} would definitely not have been as cute!}

foto by cc. he's so cool.

sweater #4

this was actually a macy's sweater {thus why i was so nervous to cut it up},
but i bought it a few months ago and have since lost weight so it was too frumpy anyway.

note the frumpiness {or if you are from washington: "beggyness"}:

ok, really this was just to show you another cool foto cc took...

so i took this not-so-cute-anymore-but-i-really-loved-it-when-i-wore-it shirt
that reminds me of being pregnant,
{cause its stretchy and i wore it lots}

after i resized the sleeves and took it in a bit on the sides, i opened the seam at the cuff,
used tissue for stability, and closed it back up. zig-zag for stretch-ability.
all of these are tricks my mom just taught me.... i even had to get a ball-point needle and i felt so intense.

used the same trick with the lace on the top...
though it's loads trickier to get even...
{just took off one button and resewed it on top.
i didn't even make another button hole, just cut it open so the button can go through.}

and done. phew. now i have one i can wear to church.

{and when i did, someone told me they just bought this sweater at khols! ha!}

with baited breath...

2011-10-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

any day now cc should be coming home with news of a deadline.

he'll say something like, "in a few weeks" or "in 2 months..."

and then, we'll know.

the thought of moving and starting new is bliss.
but until we know, we wait.

it's the topic of conversation at our house and the buzz in our family dialogue.
the answer is always a slightly dejected, we don't know yet. grr.

because we have been so antsy to get things moving, we spent saturday in our quarterly purging and rid ourselves of much needed baggage.

we couldn't wait for that.

lots of cleaning and craigslisting to boot.
{still waiting for real people to contact us instead of creeper scammers...
we've had 4 of those...}

what else couldn't wait? well, we are the geeks that stayed up till almost 2 to ensure our new twins would arrive safely in the mail. and in 5-ish days, our new little phones will make their way to our family, and that will be good too. then we can move on to another topic around here...

and any day now, B's 2 teeth threatening to break free of gum purgatory will finally shine and bring back my happy child who takes naps. {although those teething tablets ARE magic. thanks for that tip!}

and any diaper now, we might find the paper and metal that my child consumed as a result of his smart mom hanging this over his bed... {waiting on at least 2 square inches of paper and at least 1 metal ring. oh geez.}

and any minute now, just maybe, my little yoga master will finally conquer the fashionable mode of transportation for his age and leave only traces of newborn in his wake.

i am equal parts excited and terrified.

until then.... we wait....

foto friday {week 5}

2011-10-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

this week is "what's in your desk"

pretty random.

first, the desk is my mary engelbreit vanity that is probably my favorite piece in my house and came straight from my old bedroom.

the one at my moms.

my dad and i re-uped this vintage piece in high school and i have loved sitting at it to do my make-up like some chick out of a fifties movie...
my brother said mary puked all over that room.

he's right. and i loved it.

as for what's in it {or on it}...

lots of random things...and really random, not-so-impressive fotos... oh well.

the real mexican kind....

monkey tags

{first gift from my boyfriend. there's a story to that...}

now head on over to hilary {hAha} to see what's in her desk

cc is in mourning... {losing steve}

2011-10-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

on tuesday morning, i got a calender reminder on my iphone that said,
"Apple iPhone Announcement @10am online"

of course, he would put it on the calendar.

i got a call from him as i was hefting my baby seat into a restaurant with my girlfriend for lunch that day, and i listened to all of the specs of the new phone whilst ordering my chipotle philly chicken sandwich...

turns out i married my dad.

cc was going on about "and then there is this chick in your phone that you tell her what to do and your phone just does it... like your voice thing... on steroids....." and i was just thinking of saturday mornings growing up... i used to climb in bed with my dad reading his macworld magazine, and he would somehow find a way to talk to me attentively and still absorb that techno garb at the same time. he still sleeps with his macworld. and he has owned at least 8 different models of the apple computer.... needless to say, my family has iphones.

when cc and i were first talking about getting married, i remember it was almost a deal-breaker that he wasn't a MAC user. we joked that we would be a cross-platform marriage, and that was just another compromise i would be making. {there weren't many}

within weeks, he was converted. within months, we purchased our first mac together. {i hope this sounds as melodramatic as intended}

listening to cc go on about the ins and outs of the keynote address {see, only true nerds even know what that is}, i just thought of how i'm sure my dad piped that through at work just like he listens to conference while mowing the lawn. i assured him that we could watch it while we made dinner... which we did. and that made him one giddy little schoolboy.

last night, cc called to tell me he wanted taco bell for dinner. i assumed it was a rough day at work, and i hadn't made it to dinner ideas, so i obliged. plus, he had dinner in his hands and was home within 8 minutes.

that sad sad boy came home and told me about steve jobs passing. i hadn't learned of it because, well, i'm on a social media "diet" right now. {turning off all those little notifications on my phone has already changed my life} he admitted that while he didn't know him personally, he couldn't understand why he felt "in mourning" over it. it didn't help that his day was long to begin with...

we have talked lots about what life must be like for the jobs family and what they could do with all that money. its not that secret of a fantasy, and makes for fun conversation over our $20 dinner at red robin....
and the conversation usually ends with our resolve to be millionaires, because we would be pretty charming at it.

well, i couldn't not write in our family journal about the man that gets talked about more than most at our house.

"The world has lost a visionary. And there may be no greater tribute to Steve’s success than the fact that much of the world learned of his passing on a device he invented."
- Obama

well said, BO, well said.

grilled cheese and tomato soup

2011-10-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

days like this are days i have in my dreams.

days when we savor every last inch of rain like it were the only water

and we cherish the fuzzy hoodies we sport all day long.

i love the noise, i love the colors, i love the smells...

...days where maybe the only thing that could possibly make it better

is a huge puzzle.

i love that fall & winter here just means wet.

not too cold really, just enough to wear sweaters and boots,

but just right.

and lots of rain. the kind of winter a girl could get used to.

it has made me think of fall and all the holidays coming,

and what i would do to my house if i had the space to really put things up where i see them in my mind... or where someone else did something i saw on pinterest....

that's probably more like it.

we will be cuddling all day,

just savoring the last few days of non-crawling, cuddly, still loves-to-be-held baby time before the monkey learns how to fly.

its been 24/7 baby yoga over here so i know he's comin on quick.

wow, that happened fast.

just like about 47 moms told me it would...

the second it's october, my first thought is almost always,

get candy get candy get candy get candy get candy...

and i think of seinfeld and halloween and superman.

so, nerdy little me, i needed a few things for my cheap apartment to make me smile.

{and for my mom, cause well, she asked so nicely}

{download}

that thing you do

2011-10-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

in a moment i will tell you how easy this cute mobile is to make.

but first, i will say that once completed, i never thought it would cause so much glee to see my monkey's eyes light up. he was instantly reaching and beaming. and it was something i made!

i "unveiled" it on his "birthday" last week. {B is 7 months} and since i am the only one keeping track of those in-between milestones, i celebrated privately. just B and me.

you would have thought he opened a cake when i brought him out from his nap to see.

this weekend, i finally decided how to hang it and as i was doing so, i was already crafting the post in my head, "he never cries when he goes down cause he is just so mesmerized!" and "you wouldn't believe how long he can stare at that beautiful thing!"

after i admired my latest and final touch of the room
{before we move in a few months anyway}, i put him to bed.

he rolled over, looked up and watched the colors gently twirling like falling leaves,
and for a moment, he was peaceful.

then he looked at me and completely broke down. big, huge, alligator tears of a very tired, anxious boy.
dangit, i thought. i was sure this was going to be one of those added bonus things...

so i started singing, like a usually do. i was not 2 seconds into our version of "somewhere over the rainbow" when he grabbed my finger, stopped mid-tear, and practically giggled with joy at me with the most innocent smile. his temples still wet, eyebrows pink. and his adoring eyes tracing mine.

needless to say, i forgot a few words.

turns out, i am the one. turns out, that when you need comfort and love and someone to sing to you or put arms around you, that's my job.
not some silly little mobile that took me a month to finally finish...

i love you for that.

that really easy DIY mobile:

I used those quilting hoops {painted turquoise} and some fancy metal rings i found at the fabric store, some jewelry rings to fasten them together {i'm sure there is a better way to do this too}, and some fishing-line to tie them and hang them. {the paper is double-sided}

i used spray adhesive, but if i were to do it again, maybe i wouldn't do that.... its just too sticky and gets everywhere...


yep, he ate that in the store...

foto friday - {week 4}

2011-09-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

this is cc's favorite place.

{the only beach in california you can drive and camp on}

and this is B's favorite place:

and my favorite place is where the boys are.

3 random things about cc:

* he will never get rid of Big Red. even when he gets a new car.

* he is a man's man and loves towing wussy cars off the beach.

* "the beach" will ALWAYS be the answer to, "what should we do on our day off?"

{go ahead and check out the cute and creative Christine,
to see her favorite place.}

why i will go granola mom on the lunch lady - {book review of Lunch Wars}

2011-09-29T08:35:00.000-07:00

when i tookthe monkey in for his six-month appointment, his doctor told me “by ninemonths, he should be eating everything you eat.” oh crap.

what do ieat? i consider myself a generally healthy individual…right?

i will be the first to admit that i once squnched my nose in confusion at my granola momfriends that are solely organic and fill their easter eggs with whole graingoldfish. on the scale of zero togreen, i am probably about 70%. imean, i make the baby food, i do the cloth diaper thing, i even reuse, recycle,and use cloth grocery bags, but i would like to repent and ask for forgivenessfor my nose squnching. up until now, most of my reasons for my green-ness were mostly convenience and cost.

i wanted to read the book because we have watched about 7 food documentaries inthe past few months. yes 7. and lunch wars is based on adocumentary! {that i haven’t seen yet} so, because she has seen the schoolsfirst-hand, her experience is real.

amy kalafa lists some frightening stats, then she goes on to explain all of thebehind-the-scenes stuff that schools have to do to meet the “standards" and meet the revenue goals. schools have only $1 per student per meal to spend, whichmeans that it is usually difficult to fill their required calories and“nutritional” content unless they use processed foods and free commodities. amy then taught me what thatmeans, and terrifyingly explained the side-effects of things that are hidden inthose processed foods.
{like the fact that young girls are starting periods 2 years earlier now than they did a generation ago. why? there are hormones in the food!}

some schools are so manipulative {because they have to be} to encourage buying the crap. like separate lines for the free meal kids and the a la carte food. why wait in the line with the healthier food that says, "i am poor" when you can spend more money for junk that tastes good? sadly, i remember those junior high bagels and fries and chocolate shakes. cause that's what i ate. every. day. and if i had a spare dollar in my pocket, you can bet it was eaten by a vending machine.

i cringe a little just thinking about it. but i appreciate my new-found understanding of "granola moms" and the growing organic revolution. i can say i get it now.

i am a big believer in "you mom how you believe in mom-ing" and i try to keep my opinions to myself because inevitably someone will take it personally and hate me for saying, "this is the way I do it." amy says, "Food is even more personal. What I consider inedible may be the mainstay of my neighbor's pantry. We cling to our food fears and preferences the way we cling to religion."

she shares stories of some schools that are now self-sustaining and have community gardens, use whole, organic produce, and spend the time to teach the children about where their food comes from. they watch the entire process. that's my kind of education! because change is not an easy thing to do in many areas, she basically explains how to do something about it. who to talk to, what to ask... small changes are big changes sometimes. if i were still teaching at my tiny inner-city high school in D.C., you can bet i would be asking some questions! those kids didn't sleep well, eat well, or write well. we could have helped at least one of those!

{i was excited to read in the book about the changes they've made to D.C. schools after i was there, in-part, thanks to Michelle Obama. i hope my school was included in that!}

i know, i have 6ish years to get truly heated about this, but i am abeliever. besides, its now that i have to start establishing how i am going to roll at my house. and if i had a house, you can bet i would start planting tomorrow and would have a compost going yesterday.

one goal of these revolutionists is to pack the schoollunchrooms with whole, natural foods and getting rid of all of the junk food. the argument isthat “kids need options. they need to learn to make their own choices.” bull. since when do we say, “will it be recess or math?” the schools that did make changes,reported stats of higher achievement rates, better sports teams, less behaviorissues, and less trips to the nurse. imagine that? and peeps like sarah palin will say, "but parents should choose, not the schools!" well, then get in there and help them choose! schools don't have the tools, funding, and sometimes the "food IQ," and need all the help they can get.

i guess what gets my blood boiling is the thought that i might one day haveto send my kid to a school that will undermine what i as a parent teach himabout food! whether that's in the lunchroom, or a teacher using candy as bribes and rewards. no, i will not deprivemy child of ice cream and cake and the occasional trip to a fast food joint,cause i believe that is part of the journey, but i will do my best to be one ofthose annoying moms who cares about health. i just will.

on that note, the part i did not agree with was about urban schools. she said that kids have a toughtime as it is with health because they don’t have access to parks and playgrounds and they live among fast food on every corner. i have beef with the fast foodnazis in the news lately. if your child is gettingfat on fast food, that’s just plain too much fast food! we can’t blame the fast food places for what they want toserve because we keep eating it! {my students in D.C. spent most of the morning and night just getting to school, so i understand the argument, but they get lots of walking in!} amy is right, outside of what i feed my kids at home, schools are definitely the place of concern!

thiswas a paid review for blogher book club but the opinions expressed are all my own.

"be who you are and say what you feel,

because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

-dr. seuss

cupcakes and cameras

2011-09-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

who gave you the right, oh you beckoning cupcake establishments,
to steal all of the cute ideas and naughty flavors....

i mean really? sprinkles AS the countertop?
can i have a candy room in my house please?
and who said 3.50 is too much for a cupcake??
i wouldn't dare.

lets just say: so good, we were looking all over for more crumbs.

as a tertiary side note: we spent our saturday off driving 45 minutes north and back and then 1 hour south and back. new camera and its appendages: all safely tucked in for the night.

happiness is perfectly documenting a venture to a magical cupcake land.

words i needed to hear...

2011-09-26T09:11:00.000-07:00

every once in a while {every time}, conference will make me feel like i am the only one in the room.

like it was meant for just me.

of course, i know that is selfish, but this talk was something i needed to hear. he said "don't forget to be happy now." and he talked about how we often wait for our "golden ticket." sometimes i do that. i sit here in my perfectly happy, yet sometimes less-than-ideal life, and think, "oh, but when we move... and make enough money to sleep in peace....etc."

he's right, as usual. life IS so happy right now.

"You are not forgotten.

Sisters, wherever you are, whatever the circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you, with an infinite love."

—President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

i can't wait to hear more.

i already feel lighter.

foto friday {week 3}

2011-09-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

structure.

something very hard to come by in my life.

here are mine:

i know. pretty random.

now hop over to see what kristyn did with structure.

10 things that make my day 10x better...

2011-09-22T11:43:00.000-07:00

1. waking up to a clean kitchen. if i can go to bed without a dish in the sink-
i wake up happy. in fact, i can't sit and truly relax until the dinner mess is gone. cause i know tomorrow will make me want to kill small rodents just looking at the tragically upsetting space.

2. make the bed. {i give myself until lunch when cc gets home},
but it makes a huge difference when it is. huge. just do it.
and one day, when my bed is cuter, that will be even more fun.

3. get dressed before 10. i have learned a few things about myself: 1} i feel better and accomplish more when i have jeans on vs. sweats, and 2} it makes cc feel better when he sees me {though he probably wouldn't admit it} he didn't marry me for how hot i look in sweats.... cause we all know i do...

4. get ready- makeup, hair, brush teeth. if i am ready to go, getting out is easier to throw in the day.

this was my to do list when i was pregnant. WOW. why is it so much easier to get crap done now with less time?

5. get some vitamin D for the sake of getting vitamin D. truth is, it's easy to go days without seeing the sun and not notice it. but by then, i feel it in a bad bad way. just walking down to the mail counts, but if i can go on a walk or a drive, i feel like i'm on freakin vacation! {i do things, i promise. just not always to enjoy the sun.}

6. something creative. i have too many started projects right now {thanks, mom, for that genetic dysfunction}. apparently my upbeat personality depends on them like cocaine. second only to reorganizing drawers and closets, it's what makes me feel productive in a day. i love when my response to "what did you do today?" includes some new something i created.

7. read. like sit and read. a book, preferably. it has been a while, but i have 2 good ones i am reading now, one by day and one by night. it's nice to do something for my mind.

8. something active. some days, life happens instead of our workout @ night, so i have to be able to get my groove on in case that happens. i try to walk as often as i can. i probably should every day... and soon i am going to start running again....cause i am starting to believe we were all born to run. i guess we'll see...

9. think ahead about dinner. i'm not the kind to have dinner waiting when my husband gets home. at least not right now. before baby, when Wife was my only title, sure. those days are on vacation for a while. but if i can thaw chicken, or prep veggies...etc, then we can eat sooner after the workout. {truth be told, cc has jumped in the kitchen many times in the past few months and it's been so fun to invent recipes with him and cook together. i just need to bring my inner-boyscout to the table. pun-intended}

10. get in some QT for just us. when bubba goes down, dinner is done, and before we even get to one of our 2 shows we will watch before bed, the cuddle and catch up time is what puts a pretty little bow on an otherwise just "good" day.

so far, i have done 1-6.
why? cause i blogged about it.

what? did you think i do these every day?
excuse me, but hells no.
supermoms are highly overrated, and i am not one of em.

i just needed someone to sit me down and say,
"get your head in the game, missy!"
and since i can't ignore the blog.....

i am pretty sure today will be 10x better...

if you build it, they will come... {apartment therapy}

2011-09-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

i have been on and off in mourning over the loss of a home.
the home that i don't yet have and probably won't have for a while...

you've probably done it and are saying,
"get over it, sweetheart. everyone does the apartment thing."

and you'd be right.

but i am just itching to get my hands on some real walls and some real space to decorate and really make my own.

the more i thought about it, the more i would dream it up, and after sifting through millions of photos of DIY projects and cute home ideas and getting inspiration, i realized, "i can totally do this!"

so,

i am working backwards to create the bedroom i want.

last things last, artwork:

its not much, but i tried 3 different things until i landed on one i would love to hang in my room. until then, it hangs in my family room. to remind me to keep the party going.

next is my anthro-inspired quilt and cute headboard.
{so i can sell the huge thing behind my bed that is not my style in this life or the next.}

after all, "if you build it, they will come..."

-field of dreams

{side note: my sister left on her mission today.

its kind of melancholy, and kind of not.

i guess the word is bittersweet.

i will be keeping up her blog here, if you are interested.}

click here to download the print

you know you're a tv slut when...

2011-09-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

- the first thing you say when you both get home is "guess what's on tonight?"

- when you know, by date, when all of the fall shows are back on the air.
{hint: its this week}

- you have over 40 shows recording on your DVR and often have to delete shows that you don't have time to watch. and mourn that day.

- you eat dinner whilst watching a show from last night. every night. {well, in our defense, we don't really have a place to eat other than the coffee table, and its right there...so...}

- you actually use your netflix account.

- you no longer care about breaking down the acting too much in entertaining shows. when they are entertaining, they do the job. coming from a theatre background, this is hard to turn off. {it's cc's fault for forcing me to watch shows with bad acting in em. i just plain don't really care anymore. and i'm sure i'm better for it.}

...i still have my limits though. i draw the line at anything so horribly written, crude/unfunny, or filled with aliens. watching a show we love last night, i must have called her out on bad acting/poorly directed moments about 3 times. but i watched it.

last night we watched the season premiere of the sing off.

we love love that show and its absolutely tasty. yes tasty.
{and since i have been to a taping - that i will tell you about when allowed}
i will say this is one fabulous season.

fall tv we are excited about starting back up...
{sad to see you go summer.... suits anyone?}

house {jerk or no jerk, he's brilliant.}
psych {campy and fun}
chuck {campy and action and fun}
bones {drama, unique, refined show}
the middle {campy sit-com-y, my life on tv}
castle {the male "murder she wrote"}
30 rock {tina fey. amen}
fairly legal {2nd season. we love the pace of this one.}
modern family {best comedy on tv}
community {totally our humor}
biggest loser {needs no explanation}
up all night {so funny - even more so if you have kids. wet. my. pants.}
new girl {watched the pilot, kind of love it.}

{i know, now you are thinking.... "sheesh, do you do anything but watch tv?!"}

that's why we have tiVo...
and don't worry, B doesn't see a thing.

judge me.

go ahead.

i give you full permission.

i will be just sitting here watching biggest loser if you need me...